Winter Sports
Its now about the time of year when those of us with suicidal tendancies will start getting
itchy feet
I, at the moment am coping reasonably well having done my last stupid thing only six
months ago ( abseiling down the Humber Bridge ). But still the evenings are drawing in,
the air is getting colder. Could it be , might it be , surely it's time for (should be in
big letters but don't know how to do it ) SNOW
Yes its time to start booking for your winter fix of sun but what to choose Board or Ski?
Skiing, the traditional Alpine sport, the winter sport the Royal family chooses.
Boarding, the sport of the 21st century, all the rage and the very height of fashion.
What to choose. I know what I would do, having had enough experience and PAIN to make a
judgment. But this isn't about me is it ? So here are a couple of stories to help you make a
balanced judgement.
Unfortunate deaths related to Skiing
Schladming - Austria
Mr and Mrs Smith shall we say,went on their very first skiing holiday to this resort
in 1990. The lovely Easter break started off well until Mr Smith decided his newfound
skills were wasted on the ( sensibly ) marked slopes and in order to impress his pretty
new wife tried a bit of off piste. What the silly man hadn't bargained for was the family
of six very surprised Austrians picnicing under the trees.
Apart from getting all tangled up with the eldest daughter and kindly transporting her
halfway through the forrest nobody was injured. That is of course until the understanding
wife came across him fumbling around with the local talent and pushes him down the mountain.
Yes, poor Mr Smith came to a 'sonny' ending and was found slapped onto a very large and
obliging Pine.
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Wengen-Switzerland
A school trip this time. Unfortunately the name of the school and people involved are
withheld. So let us refer to little boy 1 as Billy and boy 2 as Jonny.
Billy and Jonny had been best friends since primary school and when the opportunity
arose in secondary school for them to go skiing together they jumped at the chance.
It was a very windy day and the ski lifts at first were not going to operate but as fate
was not on their side the lifts were deemed safe to use.
Once at the top ( aha, I bet you thought the lift was going to fall didn't you?!!)
they set about their task of learning how to ski. Little Billy had barely gone ten metres
when his unskilled legs failed him and he skidded over. Jonny was having similar problems
and couldn't seem to stop when his friend fell over. Picking up speed ( surprisingly quickly
for such a low gradient ) he failed to stop until he had rammed his skis firmly into Jonny's
back.
Fearing the worst the ski instructor rushed over but was surprised to see Jonny gasping
and spluttering for breath obviously alive. Unfortunatley down to the man's limited English
social vocabulary he didn't realise Jonny was having a severe asthma attack and thought he
was only resting when the limp head lolled back. Oops!
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Illustrations by Mike Farmer
